#013 Chariots of Fire (1981)

       "Chariots of Fire" is a story about two men who love running, but both with different reasons.
Harold Abrahams is an English Jew who entered to University if Cambridge, successfully ran around the university courtyard within the period of the clock to strike 12. This talented and smart man runs for the reason to prove himself and eliminate the prejudice towards him. While Eric Liddel, a Scottish who devoted to his religion with missionary parents in China. Eric always thought that running is a gift from God and another way to glorify God's name.

Eric Liddel (acted by Ian Charleson) & Harold Abrahams (acted by Ben Cross)

       Harold and Eric faced challenges along their journey of pursuing the passion. Harold and Eric had a first race against each other, and Eric won. As running meant a lot to Harold, Harold even questioned about his identity as if losing the race signified losing his identity. On the other hand, Eric faced dilemma between running and devotion to God as he was expected to focus in church activities rather than running, and being accused that he abandoned his faith because he once accidentally missed a church prayer meeting. However, no matter what obstacles they faced, Harold and Eric still persevere to their passion---running.

     Expectancy theory can explain Eric's motivation and decision to run the race although facing obstacles. Expectancy theory suggested that one's motivation is determined by the perception of self-role in performance (instumentality), efforts toward performance (expectancy) as well as the perception of the value of outcome (valence) (Vroom, 1964). Eric perceived the value of outcome as reinforcement (a sense of accomplishment, to himself and to glorify God's name), also believed in himself and worked hard to achieve the outcome. As his sister could not understand his passion to run, Eric tried his best to prove himself by persevere in his decision. When Eric found that his one of his race in Olympic would be held on Sunday, although facing great pressure from the committee, he still insisted not to participate in that race because Christian conviction of not running on Sabbath day. This made headline around the world, and Eric got a chance to run another race on Thursday, offered by his teammate. Eric did not violate his own standard toward his faith, because he viewed Christian conviction as greater reward in the outcome, nor give up to run the race when he got another chance because he viewed that another reward of outcome (glorify God's name).

       Steven Reiss suggested Intrinsic theory with 16 basic desires (2002). The desires of acceptance (the desire of approval), honor (the need of loyalty to ethnic group), physical activity (the need of exercise) and social status (the need for social standing) motivated Harold to run and accept training from Sam Mussabini, although he faced criticisms from the Cambridge university masters. Harold run to eliminate prejudice on him being a Jew in Cambridge University, wanted to prove his identity also realized the need of physical training for better performance in the race. These were the motivations that pushed Harold to work harder and finally won a gold medal in Olympic.

       As I also have my own devotions and dedications to my religious belief and in church, I could much relate how Eric felt when he faced the dilemma of choosing between his passion and dedication to church ministry. I enjoy serving in church, at the same time enjoy pursuing my dream to help more people through studying psychology. However, there are times when I need to choose whether to stay back in church for important meeting and ministry, or to attend an important and meaningful class, not to say when it comes to juggle with family gathering or friends-hang-out day too. In this case, with expectancy theory, I would evaluate what is my role for every tasks, the capabilities it take for the task and also value of the outcome. I would probably choose to go for the task with more controlled and predicted outcome (my role in the task; instrumentality), task that I am able to complete will skills and knowledge (capabilities; expectancy), and with greater reward (valence). As for me, I would always set a quiet time to pray to God and ask around for direction. I will also evaluate to try to balance between benefits to others and self, not to take others and self for granted.

References
Reiss, S. (2002). Who am I? The 16 basic desires that motivate our actions and define our personalities. Berkley Trade.

Vroom, V. (1964). Work and motivation. New York, NY: Willey.

Picture from Google

https://www.google.com/search?q=chariots+of+fire&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwjamarEhYjMAhUmhqYKHakgCeQQ_AUIBygC#tbm=isch&q=chariots+of+fire+harold+and+eric&imgrc=Ck8Ty7AUsScZtM%3A

#011 Grace Is Gone (2007)

"It is painful to lose something or someone you love deeply about."

       By the film title itself, I thought it was a movie about forgiveness as "Grace is gone". However it was a movie about grief for death. Stanley Philips, a father with two daughters, Heidi and Dawn, received the news about his wife's death, Grace, who serves in the military. Stanley himself is not prepare for the news and take a certain of period to tell his daughters.

       Just right after the next day of the movie, I received the news about my aunt's death. It is hard for me to handle two people I love and care left within a year, it is way harder for my uncle to handle losing a son and wife within a year. Leaving my uncle and a 9-years-old cousin, I wonder how my uncle tells him about the death of the mother.

       Elisabeth Kubler-Ross proposed the Five Stages of Grief in 1969 (Smith & Segal, 2016) which initially explained patients' feeling toward terminal illness, however later is generalized to other negative events and losses, for example relationship break-up and death.

Stage 1: Denial
"This is not true." "This cannot happen to me."
We tend to ignore what is undesirable to us, same goes to the news that we are not expected and ready for that. In the movie, Stanley denies to accept the fact that his wife had gone when two officers visit to his house and inform him about his wife death. He just cannot believe and repeat his question to ask the officers about his wife. He felt lost and does not know what to do but keep himself and her daughters out of the house first and do something unusual to hide his emotion. Very quickly, Stanley's emotion moved to the next stage.

Stage 2: Anger
"Why is this happening?" "Who's fault to blame?"
Although Stanley tries to keep his emotion under controlled, there are few scenes show Stanley lose his temper: when he meets with his brother while stop by at his mother's house, when the brother knew about Grace's death and the children are yet to know.

Stage 3: Bargain
"If I had a chance to.... in return I will...."
I believed Stanley has much regret for things that are too late to do, for example to apologise to his wife for the last argument. Stanley makes a phone call back to his own house telephone to hear Grace's voice on the recorder, and express his regrets, lost of direction and grief. From the way he talks to the phone, he hopes that it was him being deployed instead of Grace. I could feel how much Stanley wishes "if things do not happen, I would....." and I am sure he is willing to pay anything just wanting his wife come back alive.

Stage 4: Depression
"I am too sad to do anything."
Stanley shows low interest to do anything when he comes across this stage. But because he does not want his daughters to know about their mother's death, he tried to keep himself doing many things that he does not really interested. Whenever the children are safe with other people such as having lunch with their uncle, or when the children are having fun in the swimming pool, Stanley just wants to rest and sleep, and sometimes he needs a quiet time away from his daughters. Losing a loved one makes him find no meaning to do anything. Solely because he understands that the daughters still need him, therefore he tries to engage in activities with his daughters

Stage 5: Acceptance
"I am fine with what happened."
After bringing the daughters to Enchanted Gardens, Stanley gradually accept the truth, got healed inside his heart and recovered from the grief of lost. He makes sure that himself is string enough when he tells his daughters about their mother's death so that he can be their support.

Grieving can be painful, but it allows human to recovered from the lost. It is ok to be not ok, sometimes. We need to allow our emotions have a better way to be expressed. Learning about this was quite helpful for me to comfort my uncle and cousin, also myself to accept the fact that my aunt has left us. As we know, we still need to stay strong and live our life even after someone has left before us.






References
Smith, M. & Segal, J. (2016). Coping with grief and loss. Retrieved from http://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief-loss/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

#010 Sybil (1976)

       Always "wake up" from blackouts at different places, time and dates, Sybil is a young lady who did not aware that she had develop Dissociative Identity Disorder (also known as Multiple Personality Disorder). Not even her psychiatry, Dr Wilbur, who only learn about Sybil's mental disorder after few incidents and observations. As going through treatment sessions with Dr Wilbur, Sybil's other personalities such as confident and elegant Vickie, gloomy and suicidal Marcia, sociable and talented Vanessa, insecure and childish Peggy, and others slowly revealed at different time and situation, and they all met Dr Wilbur "individually". All of them know each other including Sybil, but Sybil never know anyone of them until Dr Wilbur disclosed and explained about her condition.

       Development of Dissociative Identity Disorder is believed due to traumatic events, experiences and memories which trigger a defense-mechanism, another personality in this case, to protect one self from certain stressful situations (National Alliance on Mental Illness, n.d.). It is an involuntary escape from reality with disconnection of thoughts, memory, consciousness and identity. Sybil was physically, mentally and sexually abused by her mother when she was small. With such growing experiences, she repressed her memories, also restricted her ability to be a better person, such as her hidden music talent and positive traits, but rather being a shy, decent and low self-esteem girl without questioning why. Whenever she feels threaten, the personalities of Peggy will show up and act childishly; when she meets her crush neighbour, the outgoing Vanessa will reveal; when she has no idea what to do in certain situation, the wise and smart Vickie will appear and help; when she remembers something traumatic, the suicidal Marcia will tend to show up and kill herself. There are many other personalities within Sybil, and as she learns about her mental illness and deny, other personalities tend to grow stronger and make Sybil's life more difficult. In order to recover from it, Sybil goes through medication and psychotherapy. It only shows improvement after Sybil recognize her root problem and persists to confront them.

       Another interesting yet impact take-away-message from this movie, was the interaction between Dr Wilbur and Sybil. All things that had done by Dr Wilbur brought me to think about the ethics in Psychology and being a therapist. Dr Wilbur shows unconditional love to Sybil and all of her alter identities in order to help Sybil recover from Dissociative Identity Disorder, which demonstrate Carl Roger's Person-Centered therapy (Sommers-Flanagan &  Sommers-Flanagan, 2012). Dr Wilbur works hard to balance between ethical dilemmas and the interests of Sybil. For example, Dr Wilbur spoke to her mentor or colleague about Sybil, and being advised that treat those identities "individually". Dr Wilbur learns and realizes not to push too hard to Sybil when she turned into an infant when Dr Wilbur tried to disclose everything to Sybil before Sybil is ready for that. Dr Wilbur even cross the boundaries to stay as friend to Sybil and always standby for her in case of any emergency. Lastly, Dr Wilbur committed and dedicated to stay with Sybil until she recovered. To me, it is a hard decision for a therapist to make such decision and commitment to a patient for so many years.

       The film ends well with a hope for people that with proper psychotherapy, medication, social support and positive therapeutic relationship between therapist and client, mental illness can be manageable and even be cured. 

References

National Alliance on Mental Illness. (n.d.). Dissociative Disorders. Retrieved from https://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-Conditions/Dissociative-Disorders

Sommers-Flanagan, J. &  Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2012). Counseling and psychotherapy theories in context and practice: Skills, strategies, and techniques (2nd ed.). 

Pictures from Google

https://www.google.com/search?q=sybil+1976&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwic9cz92ObLAhVLBo4KHaoNDUMQ_AUIBygC#tbm=isch&q=sybil+and+dr+wilbur&imgrc=zB6GJs_83S9Z6M%3A

#009 The Sixth Sense (1999)

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown” 

― H.P. Lovecraft, Supernatural Horror in Literature      

       Fear is one of the emotion that universally shared by all living beings. We, as human, are afraid of things either real or imaginary, perhaps because our brain and mind have the capacity to imagine things in relation to fear. This involves the unknown and unexpected consequences that may relate to dangers and undesirable outcome (Cao, Han, Hirshleifer & Zhang, 2009). By playing with emotion to elicit fear, "The Sixth Sense" presents the idea of human's fear to the unknown and uncertainty with "things we can't see" and associated it with music, loud sound, sudden incident in most unexpected scenes.

       The story line and the way how the actors present the emotion of fear connects and leads the emotion of the audience. Dr Malcolm is a child psychologist who dedicated to help his 9 years old patient, Cole, as he thinks that Cole is suffering delusions. The audience first could not understand what Cole is facing but he seems really afraid of something, first elicit fear of unknown among the audience in Cole's situation.

When Cole's expression started to change.
Deep down in my heart: Oh child, what the h*** had happened to you!
Did those ugly scary "thing" look at you straight to your eyes like that?!
*started to imagine potential scary scene* 

       As the story goes by, the audience get the idea about Cole's ability to see dead people, how terrified of those ghosts appearance can be, they started to feel more and relate to Cole's fear. This involves the emotion connection between the audience and Cole. They can feel his helplessness and fear as a little child who has to face all the "scary things" when no one would believe and feel as the same as he did. The fear of unknown still arises among the audience in this stage because the audience have no idea about what the ghost will do to this innocent child (ghost and demons are always perceived as unpredictable, negative and harmful to human being). Furthermore, associated with creepy background music or sudden loud noise, it evokes more fear because in human mind, that considered as an "unwanted sound" which indicates unknown, unexpected danger and undesirable consequences (Cao, Han, Hirshleifer & Zhang, 2009). Especially in the scene of Cole is locked in the wardrobe when no one knows what is happening inside but only hear Cole's fearful loud screaming.

However, after Cole made the decision and confronted his fear with Dr Malcolm's suggestion, the "truth" seems revealed and the ghosts did not appear as scary and unpredictable as in the beginning of the film. For example, a scene when Cole talks to a ghost behind the stage and a ghost of road accident standing beside Cole, it created a shock for a moment instead of fear.

See the fear and helplessness in Cole's eyes

The colour tone also play important role in elicit fears in film production. The colour tone used in the film is darker and dimmer, essentially present the gloomy feeling in the entire movie. Brighter colour tone is more likely to be presented when there is no scary involved, such as the scenes about Malcolm and Anna, Malcolm walking down the street with Cole, Malcolm's casual conversation with Cole and almost at the end of the film.

       According to Schachter-Singer Theory, human experience emotion by interpreting bodily response consistent with the situation at certain moment (Schachter & Singer, 1962). As the audience is expected to watch a horror movie, schemas in their mind prepared them to feel the emotion of fear, so the bodily response is interpreted according to this situation. For example, my heart beat increases when I watch this movie can be interpreted as fear, but it would be totally different than fear if my heart beat increases when I am expecting a romantic date.

       Another interesting theory that explains why people like to watch horror movie despite knowing that it is scary. Opponent- Process Theory suggested that human experience of emotion disrupts body state of balance and emotions have their opposing counter parts (Solomon & Corbit, 1974). For example, the opposite of happy is sad, the opposite fear is relief. Human might feel the fear before jumping off the ledge in Bungee Jump, but feel sense of relief after jumping off. So, it can be used to explain the audience like the pleasant feeling of relief and "know the truth" after experiencing fear by watching horror movie.






References
Cao, H. H., Han, B., Hirshleifer, D, & Zhang, H. H. (2009). Fear of the unknown: Familiarity and economic decisions. Review of Finance 2011(15), 173–206. doi: 10.1093/rof/rfp023

Schachter, S. & Singer, J. E. (1962). Cognitive, social and physiological determinants of emotional sate. Psychological Review, 69, 379-399.

Solomon, R. L. & Corbit, J. D. (1974). An opponent-process theory of motivation: I. Temporal dynamics of affect. Psychology Review, 81, 119-145.



Pictures from Google
https://www.google.com/search?q=the+sixth+sense&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwiP4NKc9L7LAhUMCo4KHSt-ApQQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=m1-RoBWJmpOE5M%3A

https://www.google.com/search?q=the+sixth+sense&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwiP4NKc9L7LAhUMCo4KHSt-ApQQ_AUIBygC#tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACZtfkaAViZqTIjgh_1hf3CpRbf6LgZs6_1-kESHdOEw9JznGzsrwpFLDYbA5-sa9v1g6fdisHPy-pSHPGeSfv2I5KUTyoSCSH-F_1cKlFt_1EbHyKyqx4-fuKhIJouBmzr_16QRIR81Q6PvZMddkqEgkd04TD0nOcbBGkKr7518EylCoSCeyvCkUsNhsDEUmdffyOkek8KhIJn6xr2_1WDp90R4ZIaLpr8n3cqEgmKwc_1L6lIc8RGV8RMUz5qe3CoSCZ5J-_1YjkpRPERcNw3wPYSxf&q=the%20sixth%20sense&imgrc=isHPy-pSHPGyqM%3A

https://www.google.com/search?q=the+sixth+sense&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwiP4NKc9L7LAhUMCo4KHSt-ApQQ_AUIBygC#tbm=isch&tbs=rimg%3ACZtfkaAViZqTIjgh_1hf3CpRbf6LgZs6_1-kESHdOEw9JznGzsrwpFLDYbA5-sa9v1g6fdisHPy-pSHPGeSfv2I5KUTyoSCSH-F_1cKlFt_1EbHyKyqx4-fuKhIJouBmzr_16QRIR81Q6PvZMddkqEgkd04TD0nOcbBGkKr7518EylCoSCeyvCkUsNhsDEUmdffyOkek8KhIJn6xr2_1WDp90R4ZIaLpr8n3cqEgmKwc_1L6lIc8RGV8RMUz5qe3CoSCZ5J-_1YjkpRPERcNw3wPYSxf&q=the%20sixth%20sense&imgdii=isHPy-pSHPGyqM%3A%3BisHPy-pSHPGyqM%3A%3B2sOLUZAsvHJ8zM%3A&imgrc=isHPy-pSHPGyqM%3A

#008 Whale Rider (2002)

"My name is Paikea Apirana, and I come from a long line of chiefs stretching all the way back to the Whale Rider. I'm not a prophet, but I know that our people will keep going forward, all together, with all of our strength."

       This is the last line of "Whale Rider" before it ends. Paikea as a Maori girl from the tribe of the Whale Rider, struggles in living out her calling as a leader in a patriarchal society, where males such as fathers or authorities with father-figures have the power and structural control over legal, economic, political as well as religious institutions (Glick & Fiske, 1997). Most of the time, the titles and the property are inherited by the male lineage (Glick & Fiske, 1997). As a eldest son, Paikea's father refused to carry the traditional leadership and he left Paikea to his father, went to other country and be what he is passionate for. As a Chinese saying: blood is thicker than water, although from the born of Paikea and the death of twins brother, the grandfather did not like her at the beginning as he is waiting for a male leader from his family to be raised as a leader, but the affectionate bond is still developed after years of being together with this granddaughter.

       As Paikea wants to live the calling as a leader and she is qualified to be the leader, but it always turn down by her grandfather simply because the leadership was reserved to males and she is a girl. The sexism occurs here showed a type of prejudice and bias about one gender is being superior than another gender, which may also lead to discrimination (Myers, 2010). The grandfather forbids Paikea from learning Taiaha and stepping into the cultural school shows the discrimination. Another interesting fact found in the film was even the second child is a male, he is still not a candidate to be chosen as a leader simply because the birth order, as the leader is supposed to be chosen from the eldest son. Uncle Rawiri, Paikea's uncle, the second son in the family was good in playing Taiaha and wanted to take over the leadership that his elder brother aborted, but the father turned down this heart of willingness too. This poor little girl striving hard to prove herself until she almost pays her life up, and finally her grandfather puts away the stubbornness and stagnation to declare Paikea's leadership.

       I feel lucky enough for never experience such prejudice and discrimination from my family, however sometimes I feel overwhelmed due to the attention that focuses on me. My father is the eldest son in the family and I have one uncle who does not married. I am the only daughter of my father, therefore the only grandchild who carries the family name. Most of the time, my father would put the pressure on me emphasizing that "because you are the Lee's (family name)" therefore I should behave in certain ways. He does not emphasize this on my achievements but he values the traditions such as must be home during important festivals. If I happened to have other plans on the important festival, he might get mad on me. Furthermore, I tend to achieve higher standards in my life because I have this sense of "I am the hope of the Lee's". Although it brings burden and more responsibilities to the status and identity, but it is definitely my blessing and honor to be superior in my family.

References

Glick, P., & Fiske, S. T. (1997). Hostile and benevolent sexism measuring ambivalent sexist attitudes toward women. Psychology of Women Quarterly,21(1), 119-135. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.1997.tb00104.x

Myers, D. G. (2010). Social Psychology (11th ed.). United States, US: McGraw Hill.

Pictures from Google

https://www.google.com/search?q=whale+rider+bicycle&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=623&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjnzovEkLLLAhXQBo4KHdqqAg0Q_AUIBigB#imgrc=Zy4hE_MQb07bYM%3A

#007 Forget Paris (1995)

"Relationships last not because they were destined to last. Relationships last long because two people made a choice to keep it, fight for it and work for it." -unknown-

       There are people who believe that love and life partner are destined by fate, while some are not. A friend of mine once said: "Anyone can walk into your life due to any kind of reasons. That is happen. But in order to keep the relationship, it requires build and manage." And I agree with this. For example, anyone can sit around you on the first day of university orientation week. You may start a conversation with different people at that time, hanging out with different groups of friends, and after all these years, who stayed around you or who do you choose to stay with? I believe are those you build and manage the friendship, which requires all of you to make certain sacrifices, understandings, adaptions to work things out, rather than those just happened to talk to you in group assignment.


With a romantic film title, "Forget Paris" is a romantic comedy that shows the realistic part of love and marriage after "honeymoon period". Mickey is a NBA referee and he met Ellen, an airline executive, in French. Two of them fall in love to each other quickly and want to commit in the relationship, but they face many challenges. Major challenges which involve their life decision and planning included giving up their favourite job to compromise and please the other one, leaving their favourite place or perhaps their comfort zone to stay together, compromising their quality time due to different job nature, how they support each other when they get to know they have low probability to have children, which always lead them to question about whether they were making the decision too fast or they were not meant to be together.

       Social Exchange Theory suggested that people make comparison in evaluating positive as well as negative outcomes in any kinds of relationship (Lange, Kruglanski & Higgins, 2011) while one is expecting the same effort or reward from the partner as he or she invested in the relationship. In other words, if one is putting efforts in the relationship, the other one is expected to put in the same level of efforts in return. By evaluating and balancing the positive and negative outcomes, the equality contribution occurs in the relationship achieves Equity Theory (Hat field, Traupmann, Sprecher, Utne & Hay, 1985). This can be illustrated by a Mathematical formula:

Rewards (Positive events) - Punishments (negative events) = Outcomes

       People tend to increase the positive outcome by investing more rewards to reinforce the one who treat them equally, meaning if they receive same level of effort from the partner, they are willing to make the effort to produce positive outcome (functional relationship) too. However, if the punishments happen to be more than rewards, which brings a negative outcome (deficit relationship), one would probably invest more in punishment to "punish in return" (Hat field, Traupmann, Sprecher, Utne & Hay, 1985). When Mickey and Ellen face challenges, they unintentionally take turns to compromise as they remember the sacrifices made by the other one. Yet, while they view each other "care less than I do", they started not to compromise anymore.

       At the end of the film, it is happy to see the couple still willing to work things out for the relationship. It shows the reality of love and relationship which involve understandings, acceptance, sacrifices, and the "real self" to live together. I was encouraged by a mentor of mine. She viewed a wedding ceremony as a community, which each and everyone of the guests have the responsibility to help the couple maintain the relationship and commitment as they were invited to witness the couple make their vows in the wedding. Therefore I was glad to see in the film, friends around show support to Mickey and Ellen whenever they face problem in their marriage. I wish my friends and family can be my support and help my husband and I to keep an eye on my marriage in future, suggesting constructive advice, not just make the marriage happen only, but build and manage it.

References

Hatfield, E., Traupmann, J., Sprecher, S., Utne, M., & Hay, J. (1985). Compatible and incompatible relationships. New York, NY: Springer.

Lange, P. A. M. V., Kruglanski, A. W., & Higgins, E. T. (2011). Handbook of theories of social psychology: Volume Two. United Kingdom, UK: SAGE Publications Inc.

Picture from Google

https://www.google.com/search?q=Forget+Paris&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj2sfyb_pvLAhVBU44KHc6ADdIQ_AUIBygC#imgdii=xCva8rmahIMiwM%3A%3BxCva8rmahIMiwM%3A%3BeTQe0S8FRusPCM%3A&imgrc=xCva8rmahIMiwM%3A

#006 Strictly Ballroom (1992)

"Who are you living for? What are you living for?"

       For few moments in my life, I did question myself about this. Am I living for myself, be who I am and getting closer to how I wanted to be, or I am living a life fulfilling others' expectations?

       "Strictly Ballroom" introduced a family of ballroom dancers in Australia that own a dance studio, passionately teaching ballroom dances and actively participating dancing competitions. The father, Doug, manages the dance studio while the mother, Shirley, teaches the dance. Their children, Scott (young adult) and Kylie (school age children) had been training to dance since childhood.

Scott is a talented dancer not only can master perfect ballroom dance, but creatively establishes his personal style of dance steps. However, the Australian Dancing Federation forbids "unusual dance step" other than formal ballroom dance, not to say accepting other dances in Pan-Pacific Grand Pix Dancing Competition.
Scott has a big dream to win the championship in the competition, as told and influenced by his mother and the president of Australian Dancing Federation. He represses his desire to establish personal-styled dance and conforms to the people in the dance studio. He upholds the values and standards of the dance studio and the competition (perhaps people involved such as his mother, the president, judges and audiences) to dance "properly", even though he feels not like to do so.

       Social Psychology explains this situation as conformity, a social influence or group pressure that changes one's behaviour or belief in order to fit it (Myers, 2010). In this movie, all of the dancers in the competition conform to the dancing norms and social norms that "ballroom dance should be like that". Scott, once fit himself into the majority and live a life of "his mother's son" by practice and sharpen the skills to dance Ballroom. Even Scott himself believed that he should do certain things that fit to the expectations of the society to be the best dancer and he would find value in that.


Until he meets Fran, a beginner dancer in the studio who inspires him to pursue dream and who he wants to be. Both of them explored each other's dancing potential throughout the secret-after-class-practice, and Fran's family introduce authentic Spanish pasodoble steps to Scott. Scott enjoys the happiness and freedom to dance and decided to dance with Fran in Pan-Pacific Grand Pix Dancing Competition, uniquely in their ways, and introduce a new dance other than ordinary Ballroom dances.

       The family relationship in Scott's family shows an example of obedience. As compared to conformity, obedience happens when there is an authority figure or person with higher power making an order, one will behave in response to the order made (Myers, 2010). Shirley often orders her husband and children to follow her instructions, her ways of doing things, her approaches to solve certain problems. Doug the husband always obey her to avoid quarrel. Although Scott wanted to dance freestyle, he still practice the formal Ballroom dance and at the end obeys to dance with another dancer in Pan-Pacific Grand Pix Dancing Competition instead of Fran, and win the championship so that Shirley is happy with it. However, after he found out some truths and dark-side about the competition, also with his father's support to follow his heart and dance the new dance with Fran, Scott changes his mind and disobey the order by his mother.

       In my personal growing experience, I tended to live up the expectations of others. I tried to be the quiet girl because the elderly hold the stereotype that a girl should be quiet, while I am an extroverted person. I tried to achieve those achievements according to the adults' definition, instead of my own definition and values of achievement. It did not seem much significant in childhood, until I grow up as a teenager who started to question about life worthiness and meaning. Throughout the experimenting around, I used to conform society norms about beauty, intelligence, behaviours, attitudes and other aspects that are just "not me". Most of the time I struggled because my beliefs and values were not sync with social norms. It takes time for me to understand, embrace and explore to who I want to be. For example, it is perfectly fine if I want to wear T-shirts and jeans to university without make-up, also if I want to wear a dress and put on some make-up just to walk around in the mall, rather than following fashion trends that does not suit me at all. My parents and I grow together as a family, understand the importance of uniqueness as an individual thus they now appreciate the uniqueness in me and be proud of who I am. The changes make me feel safe to voice my opinions and stands whenever there is a dilemma, also make critical judgement in problem solving, not easily fall to conformity, "inappropriate" obedience and compliance.





References
Myers, D. G. (2010). Social Psychology (11th ed.). United States, US: McGraw Hill.



Pictures from Google
https://www.google.com/search?q=strictly+ballroom+1992&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiZ0b3I4pHLAhXBYaYKHVL2CpEQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=9KrFKOzxTQ-RfM%3A

https://www.google.com/search?q=strictly+ballroom+1992&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=667&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiZ0b3I4pHLAhXBYaYKHVL2CpEQ_AUIBygC#imgrc=-MrcgUzmkPX5WM%3A